I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
