What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
