can u get pink eye on your cock?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
