we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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