she woke up with a sticky ear
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
