in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He shit in the fireplace
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize