So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
