His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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