i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
