the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
