Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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