I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
