as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize