Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
