You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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