Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
