I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize