Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
