you have to choose: penises or morals?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
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