Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
