I need help removing her.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
