Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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