Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
