he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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