For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
