We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
