I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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