What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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