Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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