Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
