nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
