My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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