There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
