note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
