This is not my ceiling
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
