But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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