You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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