where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
