Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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