If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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