Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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