Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
