Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
