I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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