I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
