I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
