maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
