I look better un-naked...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
