And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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