She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Are we still banned from the library?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
