i already hear my dad disowning me
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
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His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
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I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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