also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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