I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
