I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
