I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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