I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
