I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
