I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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