Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(309): View more from Illinois

$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.

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(765): View more from Indiana

She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.

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(513): View more from Ohio

you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar

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(317): View more from Indiana

A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.

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(503): View more from Oregon

All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?

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(678): View more from Georgia

I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.

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(520): View more from Arizona

Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.

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(940): View more from Texas

thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.

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