id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
